Does Emotional Pain Hinder or Propel Success?

Well, the answer to this question is clearly in what we do with the pain. In my opinion it is an extremely important question to ask and examine however. It is obvious to anybody who is paying attention that there is no shortage of emotional suffering going on amongst us.

I also think that this is exceptionally critical to ponder due to the devastating impact that certain severe emotional wounds can have on a person's self-esteem and confidence. This becomes even more conspicuous when the trauma occurs during the early years of our emotional development.

One of my favorite teachers, Jack Canfield, often talks about his equation for success: E + R = O

Simply stated this stands for "Event + Response = Outcome". Further explained this means that it is not the events in our life that have the most influence in who we become. It is our response to the events that determine the outcomes.  Mr. Canfield makes the very astute point that we quite often have no control whatsoever over things that happen to us, at least not consciously. Sometimes, of course, we do, but many times a person with their own free will do or say something that we cannot stop. What we can stop, however, are our own negative and self-defeating thoughts and actions that we indulge in as a reaction to this person. When we are very young, or even when we are older but do not yet realize the power of this equation, we can react in ways that clearly hinder our success and happiness in life. In fact, when we are children, we may have so many injurious occurrences that we create a deeply rooted pattern, habit or even an addiction to a negative response. It is this particular type of profoundly programmed behavior that is the most insidiously destructive. These are also the ones that can be the most difficult to change.

But, the good news is, they can be changed! If we want to change them. Also we need to take the time and cultivate the discipline to become self-aware and self-honest enough to recognize these habits to begin with. I have seen in my own personal life, and in the lives of many others, that these changes are certainly possible and absolutely worth the effort.

Since I endeavor to be fair and thorough on this topic, I would be remiss not to acknowledge that sometimes emotional duress and pain can be very powerful catalysts to provide the actual impetus for success. This is largely dependent upon the strength and character of the individual. Some would even assert that this is what forms the character of the individual. Either way, there are no shortage of inspiring stories of people like Chuck Norris that come to mind. Mr. Norris, as I understand, experienced a particularly brutal childhood but harnessed tenacity from the experience with focus bolstered by his martial arts training. Why does one person become a world renowned star while another becomes a homeless alcoholic? This far-reaching philosophical quandary is a bit beyond the scope of this particular article! Suffice it to say, for now, that this is something for each one of us to answer inside of ourselves. Do you possess the strength and desire to turn all of your hardship, adversity and disappointment into fodder and fuel for positive change? Only you can say.

Copyright 2010 David William Shaman