Does Emotional Pain Hinder or Propel Success?

Well, the answer to this question is clearly in what we do with the pain. In my opinion it is an extremely important question to ask and examine however. It is obvious to anybody who is paying attention that there is no shortage of emotional suffering going on amongst us.

I also think that this is exceptionally critical to ponder due to the devastating impact that certain severe emotional wounds can have on a person's self-esteem and confidence. This becomes even more conspicuous when the trauma occurs during the early years of our emotional development.

One of my favorite teachers, Jack Canfield, often talks about his equation for success: E + R = O

Simply stated this stands for "Event + Response = Outcome". Further explained this means that it is not the events in our life that have the most influence in who we become. It is our response to the events that determine the outcomes.  Mr. Canfield makes the very astute point that we quite often have no control whatsoever over things that happen to us, at least not consciously. Sometimes, of course, we do, but many times a person with their own free will do or say something that we cannot stop. What we can stop, however, are our own negative and self-defeating thoughts and actions that we indulge in as a reaction to this person. When we are very young, or even when we are older but do not yet realize the power of this equation, we can react in ways that clearly hinder our success and happiness in life. In fact, when we are children, we may have so many injurious occurrences that we create a deeply rooted pattern, habit or even an addiction to a negative response. It is this particular type of profoundly programmed behavior that is the most insidiously destructive. These are also the ones that can be the most difficult to change.

But, the good news is, they can be changed! If we want to change them. Also we need to take the time and cultivate the discipline to become self-aware and self-honest enough to recognize these habits to begin with. I have seen in my own personal life, and in the lives of many others, that these changes are certainly possible and absolutely worth the effort.

Since I endeavor to be fair and thorough on this topic, I would be remiss not to acknowledge that sometimes emotional duress and pain can be very powerful catalysts to provide the actual impetus for success. This is largely dependent upon the strength and character of the individual. Some would even assert that this is what forms the character of the individual. Either way, there are no shortage of inspiring stories of people like Chuck Norris that come to mind. Mr. Norris, as I understand, experienced a particularly brutal childhood but harnessed tenacity from the experience with focus bolstered by his martial arts training. Why does one person become a world renowned star while another becomes a homeless alcoholic? This far-reaching philosophical quandary is a bit beyond the scope of this particular article! Suffice it to say, for now, that this is something for each one of us to answer inside of ourselves. Do you possess the strength and desire to turn all of your hardship, adversity and disappointment into fodder and fuel for positive change? Only you can say.

Copyright 2010 David William Shaman

Interference Patterns and the Law of Attraction

Anybody who has seen the popular movie “The Secret”, or has followed the teachings of any number of modern luminaries, has certainly heard of the ubiquitous Law of Attraction. If you are not one of those people, I would like to briefly explain it here. Then I can build upon this information to share the subsequent point of this article, Interference Patterns.

There is a law that operates in our universe. We all abide by it and are consequently and consistently affected by it, whether we know it or not. This law is called the Law of Attraction, and what it means is that things that are made up of certain energy attract other things that are made up of the same energy. For example, in it’s most rudimentary form, if you are having a great day you tend to attract more great things to happen to you, and if you are having a miserable day, well…I think you get the idea.

As I was saying, there has been a great deal of discussion about this topic lately, even though it is far from a new human understanding. People are realizing, on a very broad scale, the tremendous value that this energetic insight can provide to anybody who is wise enough to harness it’s power.

What has not been discussed on anywhere near as broad a scale is a phenomenon called an interference pattern which can fly in direct opposition to any benefit that the law of attraction brings to us. That is, until we identify it and overcome it’s disempowering influence.

So what exactly is an interference pattern?

Well, those who know of the powerful Law of Attraction know that they can deliberately generate a certain vibration of energy in order to attract the corresponding energy that they would like in their lives.

Let’s say, for a simple example, that you would like to feel good. I mean really good…all of the time. If you are open to the possibility that this is even an option for a human being, which many are not. The first thing that you will encounter once you get beyond your own inner resistance to this way of life is the fact that many people have some degree of allegiance and belief in life being inherently ridden with misery. They believe in holding on to anger, resentment, depression,

low self- esteem, and an endless array of other less then desirable conditions that are not actually necessary to perpetuate. One very good example of an interference pattern is just that…you decide to feel good, you do the work to make you body healthy, your emotions balanced, your mental outlook very clear, etc…and then BAM! Somebody very close in your life who is still not resolved to feel as good as you have committed yourself to feeling puts out a directly conflicting vibration to the one that you are generating. An interfering vibration.

Now, in this example, which is only one very obvious situation where this can come into play, it is essential to be self-honest enough to be sure that the negative energy is coming from outside yourself. That being understood, and a given in this proposition, how do you solve the problem?

If it was not someone close you could simply avoid this person from here on out. And I recommend avoiding negative people as much as possible as a general rule. However, in this scenario, it is someone close. Perhaps a spouse or a child.

Of course, even if it is a spouse, or an adult child, it does not mean that you could not avoid this person or eliminate their influence from your life. In both cases the negative interference pattern would have to be significant enough and hopeless enough to warrant it. Especially in the case of your child. It’s only in the worst dynamics of completely destructive behavior that I could imagine avoiding a child or giving them “tough love” by putting a serious amount of space between myself and them. On a side note here, as parents we have an enormous responsibility in helping our child to form their mental and emotional outlook. Because of this, I could never imagine giving up on them completely. Sometimes, though, an co-dependent/enabling situation can form, and that is not helpful. A spouse is a different story, but even then the negativity and destructiveness would have to be severe enough and without hope of improvement to consider the drastic measures of removing them from your life altogether. Although those levels are certainly reached in abusive, disrespectful and loveless situations all of the time.

For the sake of our example this is someone who is going to be in your life for a long time, but occasionally presents a direct interference pattern to your new idea of total well-being. What do we do with that? For starters it’s important to keep in mind that whatever is going on in our life we attracted into it to begin with, at some point in time. That means that this person who is currently not creating the energy patterns that are in alignment with your new desire is someone who certainly was in alignment with your old energy patterns before

you decided, unilaterally, to change. So, one good thing to try is to see if they are even at all receptive to changes in mind-set that you are growing towards. If not, there really may be a problem. An inherent incompatibility. And that unfortunate truth may have to be dealt with. But, let’s say, they’re open to change, but just not changing as quickly as you, or as quickly as you would like?

This is where it comes to the sheer strength and “grounding” of the energy being generated on either side of the equation. There is an ancient question in the world of martial arts that asks “what if two great masters of completely different styles match off in a fight to the death…who would win?”. The answer is, quite plainly, the one who is most firmly rooted in what they know. Darkness has no root, for it is merely a lack of light. If you are truly on a path of awakening and benevolence your every action must be firmly implanted in that which is positive. By continually strengthening and purifying your connection to the true source of this light, you will gradually dispel darkness, whether inside or outside of yourself.

The bottom line is always going to be, however, that you must take full responsibility for everything in your life, and not blame anybody for anything. Although being aware of the influences that you have drawn to yourself is important so that you can change them, we must be ever vigilant to avoid using them as an excuse for not moving forward. It is always our own decision whether to acquiesce to an influence that is not in line with our vision of life, or to dig our heels in and be the master who prevails.

© 2009 David William Shaman